"Your Wedding, Your Rules: How to Laugh Off Overbearing Friends & Parents"
Planning a wedding is like creating a masterpiece — only your paintbrush is covered in glitter, your canvas is on fire, and everyone around you has very strong opinions about where the sparkles should go. You know what I’m talking about: your parents, your best friend, your second cousin twice removed… they all have ideas about your big day. Some of these ideas are awesome (you definitely want to serve cupcakes) and some are not so much (no, Aunt Carol, we are NOT having a live animal as the ring bearer).
So, here’s the thing — you’re the one getting married. That means the final say is yours, and if you want to skip the three-tier cake, wear sneakers instead of stilettos, or host your ceremony in a drive-thru chapel, it’s your prerogative. But if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed by the people who just know how things should go, here are some tips on how to laugh it off, stay true to yourself, and maybe even throw in a little snark along the way.
1. "That's a Lovely Suggestion, But... Nope!"
Let’s start with the simplest (and most polite) approach: just smile and nod. Sure, your mom might think a horse-drawn carriage is the way to arrive at your wedding, but if you’re more of a “scooter down the aisle” person, tell her exactly that! You can be gracious and still put your foot down.
Example: “Oh, a horse-drawn carriage, that’s adorable. But I was thinking of arriving on a giant inflatable swan. Thanks for the suggestion, though!” (Bonus points for offering an actual alternative!)
2. Create a “No-Thank-You” List
Some wedding planners suggest a “Do Not Invite” list for guests, but we think a “Do Not Suggest” list is even better. If you’re getting a lot of unsolicited advice, start jotting down the things that are absolutely, 100% off-limits. This could include:
Flower arrangements with fake flowers (you are NOT going to make a DIY bouquet out of silk daisies, Karen).
A seven-course meal (No one wants to sit through that, especially not after Aunt Edna’s third glass of chardonnay).
That one bridesmaid who insists on wearing neon green.
This list can be your guiding star when dealing with overbearing input — and the best part is, you can bring it up with a straight face when someone suggests something totally bonkers!
3. Tactical Redirects: Get Creative
When your best friend insists that a live band is necessary, but you’re dreaming of a playlist on Spotify, it’s time to get tactical. Redirect their enthusiasm to something they can get on board with — without sacrificing your vision.
“Oh, I know you LOVE live bands, and maybe we can do something fun with that! What do you think about picking some karaoke songs for the reception? You can be the judge!”
Boom. You get your playlist, they get a bit of the spotlight. Everyone wins.
4. Remember the “Not Everything Needs to Be a Tradition” Rule
Just because your mom’s wedding involved a big cake, a first dance, and a hundred candles doesn’t mean you have to follow the same formula. Weddings are personal — and guess what? Traditions are not legally binding. If you don’t want to do a first dance or wear something borrowed, it’s your call.
Example: “Oh, you want me to keep the tradition of the first dance? Well, I was thinking of doing a first group dance instead — you know, like ‘The Cha-Cha Slide’ but with confetti cannons.”
Be bold. Your wedding day should be as unique as your love story.
5. Use Humor to Tame the Beast
Sometimes, the only way to escape a wild suggestion is to laugh it off with a joke. Humor is your shield and your sword.
For example, when someone suggests a destination wedding in the Bahamas, and you’re over here googling “elopement in the backyard,” you can say:
“Oh, the Bahamas would be amazing, but if I’m being honest, my dream wedding involves me wearing pajamas and watching Netflix on the couch while my fiancé picks up takeout. What do you think, Mom?”
(You don’t even have to say that part about the takeout. Keep 'em guessing!)
6. A Gentle Reminder: You’re the Star of This Show
It’s easy to forget, but it’s YOUR wedding. Your big day should reflect YOU and your partner, not a committee of well-meaning but overzealous planners. Everyone can offer suggestions, but in the end, they need to respect your choices. It’s okay to stand firm and say, “This is what makes me happy.”
Here’s the key takeaway: If you feel even the slightest bit pressured, it’s probably time to remind your loved ones (and yourself) that your wedding day is not about satisfying a crowd of critics. It’s about celebrating the love you’ve built with your partner. So, as hard as it may be to reject Aunt Susan’s offer to wear a “bridesmaid dress from 1985” or to ignore Dad’s plea for a “fancy” 12-piece orchestra, stay true to the vision you and your fiancé have created.
7. Bonus Tip: Laugh Through the Madness
Planning a wedding can get stressful, but remember, this is supposed to be a joyous occasion! Keep your sense of humor, roll with the punches, and when someone suggests something totally outlandish (looking at you, Uncle Bob, with the inflatable pool idea), take a deep breath and laugh. After all, these are the moments that will make your wedding story all the more entertaining for years to come.
And when the day finally arrives, you’ll look around at all your decisions, big and small, and smile because — in the end — you got to create a wedding that is uniquely you. No outside influence required.
Here’s to a wedding that’s as fun and fabulous as you are! Keep it real, keep it yours, and keep laughing!
