The New Bridezilla: How to Avoid Becoming a Wedding Monster (And How Not to Treat Your Vendors)
Let’s get real for a second, future brides. Wedding planning is stressful. Like, “can’t sleep, can’t eat, ‘did I just yell at a flower girl?’” stressful. You’ve got 347 little decisions to make, and every detail feels like life or death. From choosing the exact shade of ivory napkins to stressing over whether your bridesmaid dresses clash with your flower arrangements, it can be enough to make anyone want to throw in the towel.
But what if I told you there’s a way to plan your dream wedding without turning into a full-blown Bridezilla? A little while ago, I had a wedding that made me seriously question my life choices. And by “seriously question,” I mean I was this close to just retiring early and moving to a remote island. Maybe I could run a cat sanctuary, or better yet—train cats. Anything, really, that didn’t involve the words “centerpiece” or “timeline."
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love weddings. But this one… this one had me questioning whether my true calling was in, I don’t know, professional dog-sitting. I’ll spare you the gory details, but let’s just say this bride was more focused on perfection than actually being present for her wedding day. My assistant cried—twice. She treated the vendors (and me, let’s be real) like we were her personal servants. After running around like we were auditioning for The Amazing Race, she was… let’s call it “disappointed” in every little thing that wasn’t absolutely, 100% according to her vision.
And while the stress and drama of that day almost had me questioning my entire career, there was a silver lining. Because in the middle of the chaos, Aunt Karen, Uncle Bob, and Cousin Josh—who may as well have been the MVPs of the whole damn wedding—saved the day.
A True Vendor Fairy Tale: Aunt Karen, Uncle Bob, and Cousin Josh Save the Day
Now, Aunt Karen wasn’t just any guest—she was the Maid of Honor. And let me tell you, this woman earned her title. Aunt Karen’s superpower was her ability to step in and read the room. When Bridezilla was on the brink of a meltdown (again), Aunt Karen took a deep breath, smiled, and calmly said, "Sweetie, are you happy you’re marrying him today?" The bride, mid-tantrum, paused—finally looking up from her checklist—and sheepishly said, “Well, yes…”
Aunt Karen then turned to my assistant and me, giving us that look of reassurance that only the best Maid of Honor can deliver, and said, “Okay then, let’s go make sure she actually gets to do that.”
And that’s when Aunt Karen became our unofficial wedding coordinator. She calmed the bride down, stepped in to manage any emotional meltdowns, and most importantly, reminded her what this day was really about. Meanwhile, Uncle Bob, the incredible caterer (who deserves a medal for dealing with Bridezilla’s demands), was in the trenches with us. He’s the kind of guy who can keep calm in a storm and just get things done. When the bride complained about how the appetizers weren’t being served exactly at the right temperature, Uncle Bob said with a wink, “I’ll make sure they’re perfect for your guests, don’t worry about a thing.” Then, he proceeded to make sure everyone was fed on time, without breaking a sweat. No big deal, right? He just single-handedly kept the whole kitchen from exploding while simultaneously making sure our bride didn’t lose her mind.
And then there was Cousin Josh. Now, Cousin Josh was not only a family member, but also the emotional backbone I never knew I needed that day. As Bridezilla raged through yet another meltdown, I found myself on the verge of tears from how badly we were being treated. I was running on fumes, trying to hold it all together for the bride, the vendors, the whole event. And that's when Cousin Josh appeared, like a knight in shining armor (with a six-pack of beer in hand, mind you). He simply handed me a cold one, gave me a comforting hug, and said, “You’re doing amazing. Just breathe.” And honestly, that was enough to keep me going. His support reminded me that sometimes, a kind word—or even just a beer—is all it takes to help you get through the madness. So, while my actual job was to keep the wedding on track, I’ll admit, Cousin Josh’s emotional backup was exactly what I needed in that moment.
How to Avoid Becoming a Wedding Monster: Key Tips to Keep Your Cool
Remember What’s Important: You’re Getting Married! Wedding planning can be an emotional rollercoaster. But at the end of the day, your wedding day is about two things: celebrating love and marrying your person. Not about having a picture-perfect Pinterest board come to life. If you start losing sight of that, take a deep breath. The flowers might not match exactly, or maybe the cake isn’t quite the shade of blush you dreamed of, but you’ll still have your forever person at the end of the aisle. And that’s pretty much the only thing that actually matters.
Respect Your Vendors (We’re All Humans, Too) You hired us for a reason—because we know what we’re doing. Treat us like the experts we are. Sure, we might not be mind-readers (as much as I wish I could be), but we want the day to be as flawless as you do. That means working together as a team. Yelling at your florist because the boutonnière doesn’t look exactly like the photo from your 400-pin Pinterest board? Not helpful. Or kind. Vendors are your team—so treat us with respect, and you’ll get a lot more love in return.
Know That Perfection Is a Myth You can’t control everything (I know, I know—it’s hard to accept). Some things won’t go exactly as planned, and that’s OK. Is it a disaster? Absolutely not. It’s life. Did I have a bride storm off to the bathroom, swearing up and down that she was going to cancel her whole wedding because the napkins didn’t match the program cover? Yes. (And I wish I was joking.) That’s not only unproductive, it’s a waste of your timeand energy. So, stop obsessing over the little stuff. Nobody will notice if the seating chart font is two points too big, trust me.
Don’t Take Your Stress Out on Your Crew We get it. You’re stressed. But taking it out on your vendors, your bridesmaids, or anyone who’s trying to help you is not the way to go. I had a bride a while ago who literally made my assistant cry twice in two days. All because things weren’t exactly as she imagined. That’s not OK. No matter how frustrated you’re feeling, your wedding team is there to help, not to be your punching bag. If you need a moment to yourself, take a break, breathe, and remember that everyone is there to support you.
Don’t Forget to Smile (And Enjoy It!) At the end of the day, no matter how much planning, stress, and chaos goes into your big day, it’s supposed to be FUN. You’re marrying your person! So, take a minute to step back, breathe, and soak in the joy. There will be plenty of moments to laugh, cry happy tears, and truly enjoy the magic of the day. The only thing that should be perfect is the love in the air—and you’ll definitely get that right if you keep perspective.
Be Kind (And For The Love of Wedding Cake, Don’t Be an Asshole) Let’s just get this out in the open: Don’t be an asshole. Your vendors are working their butts off to make your day amazing. Your friends and family are there to celebrate you. They didn’t sign up to be treated like garbage just because you’re stressed. We all know that wedding day tension can make tempers flare, but guess what? Yelling at your DJ because the song is two seconds off or making your florist cry because she’s not magic isn’t going to get you any closer to your dream wedding. It’s only going to make your team resent you and ruin your vibe. Be gracious, be kind, and remember that kindness goes a long way when things feel overwhelming. You’re going to be way happier with a smile than a scream.
Delegate! Let Your Trusted Helpers Step In If you’re lucky enough to have an Aunt Karen, Uncle Bob, or Cousin Josh in your corner, let them help. Sometimes, letting go of the reigns is the best thing you can do for your mental health. Give trusted friends or family roles in helping keep things calm, whether it’s as your “emotional support team” (looking at you, Aunt Karen) or simply checking in with your vendors to make sure things are running smoothly. You don’t have to do it all alone—and sometimes the best way to ensure things stay calm is to let others take the reins when needed.
Remember That Stress Doesn’t Equal Success Some of the best moments at weddings happen when things don’tgo according to plan. You’ll see your partner’s face when they walk down the aisle, hear a heartfelt toast from someone you didn’t expect to say anything, or catch a glimpse of your best friend trying to keep it together during your first dance. These are the memories that will last forever. Stressing over everything else is just a distraction from the magic happening in front of you.
The Final Word: Be Kind, Be Present, and Make It Fun
So, future brides, let this serve as a gentle reminder that planning your wedding doesn’t have to make you lose your mind (or your manners). If you can remember to be kind, be present, and focus on the real meaning of the day, you’ll not only get through your wedding planning without turning into a bridezilla, but you’ll have an amazing, joyful day that everyone will remember for the right reasons.
And just to clarify: we’re here to help you every step of the way. So, don’t make us cry.
