"Choosing Your Wedding Officiant: Friends Are Great...But Maybe Not for This Job"

Alright, couples-to-be, gather ‘round. It’s time to talk about a crucial part of your wedding that doesn’t get nearly enough attention: the officiant. You know, the person who will marry you and your partner, make it all official, and probably make a few jokes to lighten the mood (because, let’s face it, we all need a good laugh during the vows).

You might think, “Hey, what’s the big deal? I’ll just have my best friend officiate, it’ll be fun!” And while I love the enthusiasm and spirit of friendship, let's pump the brakes for a second before you hand over the responsibility of uniting you and your partner for life to someone who still can’t remember where they put their car keys.

Here’s the thing: Choosing the right officiant is kind of a big deal. You’re entrusting this person with one of the most important moments of your life—so it’s not exactly the time to ask someone who thinks "I now pronounce you husband and wife" is a good excuse to do an impromptu stand-up comedy set.

Let’s break it down:

1. Your Best Friend: Yes, But with Caution

Okay, let’s talk about the dreamy idea of having a best friend officiate your wedding. I get it—there’s something so beautiful about having someone you love be the person to marry you. Plus, they know you better than anyone, so they could probably throw in some fun, personal anecdotes, right?

However, here’s the thing: being great at friendship doesn’t necessarily mean they’re great at public speaking, leading a ceremony, or, well, remembering the order of events. You don’t want your ceremony to feel like a nervous open mic night, where your friend forgets your partner’s name halfway through or, even worse, starts telling that embarrassing story from college.

2. The Professional Officiant: The Safe Choice

Listen, I know, professional officiants are great and all—but it’s true. They’ve been around the block, they know exactly what they’re doing, and they will 100% have your ceremony running like a smooth, well-oiled machine. They won’t lose the script halfway through or accidentally announce you’re "dating" instead of "married." A pro will bring the perfect blend of emotion, humor, and professionalism.

But hey, if you’re really not feeling the whole “official person” thing and want a friend to officiate, that’s totally your call. Just remember, the ceremony is the foundation of your wedding day, and you want it to be as flawless as that Pinterest cake you’ve been eyeing.

3. A Funny Horror Story: When Friends Go Too Far

Okay, brace yourselves, because here’s a little horror story from the wedding trenches. This is a real real example, so buckle up.

One couple I worked with decided to have their good friend officiate their wedding. Great idea, right? They were excited to have someone who knew them so well leading the ceremony. However, things took a turn during the vows.

Friend #1 (the officiant) got up, ready to deliver a heartwarming message, but suddenly... panic mode. Instead of sticking to the vows they’d planned, the friend launched into a long story about how they almost ruined the couple’s first date (something about spilled wine and a very awkward Uber ride). The whole thing was awkward, none of the guests knew how to react, and the couple stood there, frozen, praying for it to end.

And then, as if the cringe level wasn’t high enough, Friend #1 tried to lighten the mood with a joke. “Well,” they said, “you guys may have survived that first date, but I’m not sure if you’re gonna make it through marriage... just kidding!”

Spoiler alert: no one laughed.

It was the moment everyone will remember, but not for the right reasons. The couple did eventually get married, but it was not the cute, heartfelt ceremony they’d dreamed of. They still cringe when they think about the "comedic" officiant they chose.

Moral of the story? Sometimes, a friend is not the best choice for this role. And hey, if you're looking to keep the laughs rolling, you can always hire a professional who knows how to tell the funny stuff at the right moment.

4. So, What’s the Verdict?

Look, I’m all for choosing a friend or family member to officiate if they’re the right fit—someone who can handle the pressure, stay organized, and, most importantly, not steal the spotlight with embarrassing stories. If they’re a great public speaker, know your relationship inside and out, and have a knack for staying on track, then go for it! It’s a beautiful, personal touch that can make your ceremony even more special.

But if you’re having any doubts, or you don’t want your ceremony to turn into a cringe-worthy horror show, don’t be afraid to call in a professional. You’ll thank yourself later when your officiant nails the vows, keeps the ceremony on track, and doesn’t make that joke. Trust me on this one.

One of our favorite officiants in Portland is Officiant Jimmie. They’re amazing at creating a ceremony that’s heartfelt, personal, and lighthearted—without any accidental stand-up comedy bits! They’ll work with you to craft the perfect ceremony, full of love and laughs that hit all the right notes.

Now go on, enjoy your wedding planning, and let’s keep the funny moments where they belong — at the reception, where they won’t make anyone cry from secondhand embarrassment. 😉

Happy planning, and choose wisely!